“You need to think about what’s best for her,” said the doctor as he pointed toward Cara Murtaugh’s three-year-old daughter, Aria, arguing that having a sibling with special needs might not be in Aria’s “best interest.” The past year has proven otherwise. In a recent Instagram post, Cara contrasted the doctor’s cynical, hopeless words with footage of Aria holding her baby brother Samuel as the two of them smiled and laughed. “Someone’s never been more wrong,” she said in another post.
Stories of doctors pressuring parents to abort children with disabilities are far too common. It is especially horrifying when a doctor insists that aborting a child is in the “best interest” of his or her siblings. By saying that aborting Samuel would be in Aria’s best interest, the doctor was arguing that Samuel needed to die in order to give Aria a more idyllic, carefree childhood. This is truly horrifying reasoning, and yet this is the logic of the abortion industry.
Human life is never an inconvenience or a burden to be borne. It is a priceless gift, and no one’s life can ever be made less valuable by any challenges that they face. This is something that the abortion industry refuses to understand. Instead of seeking ways to meet needs and come alongside people who are facing challenges, the abortion industry seeks to eliminate the people facing those challenges. This is not an ethic of compassion, but an ethic of convenience and it is deadly.
The argument that aborting a child with disabilities is in the best interest of their siblings is nothing more than an attempt to justify eugenics, and it overlooks the far-reach devastation caused by abortion. Every abortion leaves a dead child and bereaved parents. In many cases, it also leaves bereaved siblings. It is estimated that as many as half of Americans have lost a sibling to abortion, and a growing number of those siblings are speaking out about how the loss has affected them. Many siblings of abortion victims struggle with survivor’s guilt and unresolved grief as they process the loss of a brother or sister they never had the chance to know. This is known as Post-Abortion Survivor Syndrome.
Siblings grieving the abortion of a brother or sister are often forced to process their grief in silence as our culture insists that their sibling’s death was not truly a loss. When doctors and abortion activists argue that aborting a child with special needs is in the best interest of his or her siblings, those siblings bear an even heavier emotional burden. Siblings deserve better than to be used as political prop for an industry that wishes to justify eugenics.
Cara’s story especially struck me because I am a well-sibling, that is, a sibling of someone with special needs. I know from personal experience that there are unique challenges that come with being a well-sibling, but I also know that there are unique and incredible blessings, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Having a sister with special needs has helped me to see the incredible worth of every life. Her life is precious and valuable and has touched countless people, myself included, in profound ways.
As a well-sibling, I am horrified and angered that any doctor would suggest that someone is less valuable and less worthy of life because they are disabled. At the same time, I deeply pity anyone who believes such a hideous lie. Anyone who believes that human worth is based on abilities fails to understand why their own life has value. Instead of seeing that their worth is based on who and what they are — image-bearers, known and loved by the Creator of the universe — they are left attempting to find their worth in what they do. Not only that, but anyone who believes the lies that this doctor believes is missing out on the opportunity to know, love, and be loved by the many incredible people whose abilities differ from their own.
(Image: Instagram, Cara Murtaugh)
